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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Banned Radio Found in UCI Parking Lot

Banned Radio
(Nose Hit News Service - Aigle, Switzerland) With wires sticking out the back, this car radio was found lying in the UCI’s parking lot.  “At first we thought a car was broken into,” said a skateboarder doing bitchin’ kick flips with his friends outside UCI headquarters, “but this is Mr. McQuaid’s parking spot.”  Apparently someone is on a radio banning rampage.  “We’re totally putting this on eBay,” said the teen.  They did not realize the radio is a total piece of shit and we doubt McQuaid drives a vintage VW.

Swiss Radio 1 Tower
However, later in the day, villagers report seeing a large boisterous figure climbing the radio tower high on a hill outside of Aigle, Switzerland.  Passerby's report the man appearing like a giant on the 2500 meter tower as it swayed from side to side in the spring wind.  Moments later the antenna snapped off the top and impaled a dairy cow adjacent to a Swiss cheese factory.  “Either Swiss Sasquatch is up to his old antics or this (expletive) cycling radio ban has gone too far,” said the cheese maker.  The man on the tower reportedly jumped down and was last seen running with arms flailing into the forest.

UCI Headquarters
After an open letter was sent out to professional cyclists detailing his reasons for the UCI’s ban on race radios, there are signs that all radios within the control of the UCI could, um, maybe, quite possibly may be banned.  “The UCI is very quiet today,” said a delivery service driver for SwissEx on the UCI route.  He added, “I had the radio on in my truck.  Went into the UCI to drop off a package and completely missed the end of the zany morning zoo’s prank phone call.  It sucks.  The receptionist usually has the same station on.”


1 comment:

James Billiter said...

This is major news! Hopefully it will be picked up by a respectable news source like The Onion.

Nice writing!